Hetalia - Nostalgia Ain't Like It Used To Be

America went on a long drive around New York one Saturday afternoon in 1954. Wishing to get away from the business in the city for a while, he drove out into the suburbs for a little more peace and quiet.

Endless lines of white houses and perfectly kept front lawns welcomed him when he got there, and his heart sank. He drove back the way he came, wondering when daily life had become so repetitive and predictable.

"Individuality has gone down the drain, hasn't it? Everyone just wants to be the same these days..."

He turned on the radio and listened half-heartedly to the constant string of slow, overly sentimental ballads until he was home again.

"Man, what I wouldn't give to hear some catchy jazz, dance all night and drink as much as I want without having to worry about the disapproval. It sure would beat working in a hot, stinky office with boring old guys and doing paperwork all day." He thought as he lay down in bed that night.

In his dreams, he danced the Charleston with a pretty young flapper and had a few drinks, before she dragged him out to the garden for some 'whoopee'.

America finally made it to the building where the 1967 World Conference would be held and almost collapsed against the wall in exhaustion. He gave himself a few seconds to get his breath back before checking his watch and seeing that he was twenty minutes late.

"Hey man..." A lazy voice drawled, catching his attention before he could enter the building.

America turned to his right to see another hippie with unkempt hair approaching him with flowers.

"Oh my God, not again. It was understandable when those girls did it, but a man? Is he gay or something?"

"I'm just helping spread the love..." The hippie moaned, holding one flower out to him.

He very narrowly fought off the urge to punch the stranger in the face as he charged through the doors and towards the lift.

Once he was safely inside and on his way to the top floor, he slumped and wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead.

"If only things could be as simple as they were ten years ago...now it seems every week there's some protest or major disaster in Vietnam. And I have to deal with these weird hippies too!"

It was just another average evening in 1988 and America was on the couch watching the latest news story about the drug epidemic sweeping the country.

"I don't understand it!" He yelled at the television screen in rage. "Of all the drugs out there, why does it have to be crack? At least LSD wasn't addictive!"

He tossed the remote control on to the floor and stood up, storming out of the room in a foul mood.

"Damn, people these days are getting stupid. Is it any wonder that I have to carry a gun and knife with me everywhere now?"

America visited California during the summer holidays of 1998. He went to the beach one day, hoping to have some fun by the sea, only to find the whole place crowded to a point that he never imagined. He stepped over sunbathing ladies and dodged rowdy kids to find an empty spot where he could sit, while also looking in dismay at the rubbish scattered here and there.

Glancing at a tanned girl lying on her stomach just inches from his feet, he wondered how she could relax when there were uncorked bottles and old candy wrappers around her.

"I guess I won't be able to throw a ball or carry a board without hitting someone by accident. Why did I even bother to come here?"

On his way back to the hotel room he was staying, he was almost hit by a speeding convertible and jumped back on to the footpath just in time. The driver of the vehicle gestured rudely at him before screeching round a corner, a materialistic hip hop anthem booming from their radio speakers.

Upon hearing the words of the song and being reminded of most of the current pop hits, America concluded that it wasn't a coincidence that many of the teens he'd met came across as being so painfully shallow and pretentious.

"Seriously, if these kids could just let loose on the floor of some disco, I'm sure it would do them a lot of good. But then again, they're probably all too self-conscious for that."

As he sat in the comfort of his temporary residence reading a book, he longed for some of his old records so that he could listen to some classics from the seventies.

The year was 2009 and America was surfing through channels on his television in huge disappointment. It seemed as if fewer quality shows were being made available as the years went by and that made him sad.

He stopped to check out one of his former favourite channels and his ill feelings only exacerbated, when he saw the brainless reality show that was being broadcast.

"God, MTV really has gone to hell. Why can't they go back to playing music videos all day like they're meant to do? I mean, they were so awesome in the eighties..."

America switched off the television when he could tolerate the inane program no longer. He soon opted to simply listen to the radio in order to hear the latest hits.

"You know, sometimes I really miss the nineties..." America said to Canada as they sat side by side in the living room.

"Oh, really? In what way?" Canada asked without taking his eyes off the television screen.

"Well, everything was great, you know? The music, the economy, the fashion, you name it. And I should also mention, girls were actually hot. What do you think, bro?"

"I kind of have to agree. Don't forget that cartoons were better too."

"You're right. I have to sift through like ten shows just to find one that's worth my time."

"Same here. If only we had a time machine..."